What I watched: The eighth episode of the second season of The Lone Ranger, a kid-friendly Western created by George Trendle and starring Clayton Moore as the titular hero and Jay Silverheels as Tonto. “Thieves’ Money” was written by Curtis Kenyon, directed by John H. Morse, and featured guest stars John Doucette, Charles Watts and David McMahon. “Drink of Water” aired on Thursday, October 26, 1950 on ABC at 7:30 pm., and is available on YouTube.
What happened: A gang of crooks is examining some counterfeit money, marveling at the accuracy of the forgery by the ringleader Pierre Dumont (like the TV channel). However, they’re arrested by treasury agent Jim Collins (McMahon), who promises them they will be mistreated in prison. He was able to follow Dumont because of his fancy lad affectations, including wearing gasp cologne. But there’s one more crook, who shoots Cobb in the back. Dumont hatches a plan to impersonate Collins to keep the feds off their trail.
The Ranger and Tonto finally ride into the story looking for a place to camp, where they find Collins’ body with Dumont’s papers on him. The Ranger has met with Dumont before, and notices that the body doesn’t match his memory. In town, Dumont’s impersonation has fooled the local sheriff, Andrews (Watts). The Ranger and Tonto arrive in the office, and act friendly with Dumont, handing over the papers and asking him to identify the body.
In the morgue, Collins gives a positive ID. The Ranger and Tonto search the area they found the body, finding a covered up trail. They follow the trail to the outlaws’ cabin, which stinks with cologne, and find briefcases of counterfeit money. The Ranger tells us that “counterfeit money can do just as much damage as the most vicious outlaw.” They resolve to set a trap for the crooks.
The bad guys have obtained a hotel room, and the goons hide in the closet while Dumont welcomes the Ranger and Tonto. The Ranger tells them that they found the hideout cabin and the counterfeit money. Dumont invites them to join in an ambush at the cabin. Of course, it’s actually an ambush against the heroes. The Ranger has already convinced the sheriff that Dumont is disguised as Collins, based on the whole cologne thing. He resolves to send a telegram to Washington to get a description of Collins, but this will take time, so the Ranger decides to go with a quicker and more violent method.
The heroes walk towards the ambush, but instead of heading in disarm Dumont. They tell him to put on his own Lone Ranger mask and head in (hey, there’s another mistaken identity.) Meanwhile, the Ranger sneaks in the back. Dumont yells his true identity at him, providing the proof that the authorities need (although the Sheriff is nowhere near, but whatever). We get some fisticuffs with the two goons, which ends with the two men tied up and taken into custody. The sheriff jovially informs them that they’ve been caught by the Lone Ranger, and it’s hi-ho Silver, away.
What I thought: This is another Lone Ranger episode that really relies on the charm of the villain of the week to distinguish it from the usual fare. Dumont is notable for his supposed intelligence and intellectual sophistication. The show has characters repeatedly comment on his wits, but ultimately he’s undone by his very illusion of being high class, as well as the Lone Ranger’s less ostentatious intelligence.
The script for “Thieves’ Money” really doesn’t seem to trust the audience too much, making sure that every step in this duel of wits is explained in dialogue multiple times. It also takes the relatively easy shortcut of trying to make people care about the relatively banal crime of counterfeiting by having the perpetrator also do a murder.
Still, there are some good performances, featuring Lone Ranger all star (and Golden Potato winner) and John Doucette as Dumont as well as Charlie Watts imbuing all of the sheriff’s limited role with down-home bonhomie. Even Jim Collins makes a relatively big impression. So, even when the scripts are a little dumbed-down, the Lone Ranger’s troupe of regulars feel like they’re doing their best.
Coming up next: Kukla, Fran, and Ollie attempt a little Shakespeare.
The Eternal Couch Potato 